Week highlights before I scoot off to class:
beautiful weather is a feather
in my cap
62 and blue
skies
eyes open and smiling
meeting a zanmi
in the park and eating
a sandwich
candy
sunshine
listening to wake up alarms
of people who set them and
hit them
and dont
wake
up
wearing out shoes
literally, 3 pair now
gone and somehow
somewhere need to find some new ones
dream i played soccer and had to buy all new gear
in the process, i bought overalls
remembering people on/from way to school to write in notebook: two Chinese girls, the produce man by guzman el bueno, what people think on the metro, couples, street sweepers, newspaper sellers, shop owners stepping out for a smoke break or to look into their store
celebrating end of midterms are our [my Piso Amigas (apartment friends) and my] favorite local bar: Cafe Sin Nombre. Which involved tequila on the house... or paid for by a Spanish guy named Javier. Yea.
and today is thursday, last day of the week for classes.
PEACE
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Procrastination
Who ever thought midterms would just be so... unappealing?
At SLU Madrid, I guess taking upper level classes allowed me to dodge the "midterm" nusance, even a comprehensive final or 2 and so forth... to those teachers, thank you!
It's just that I am the kinda person who will offer: let me tell you what is meaningful to me, what I really took away from (yr) the class-
Yea, currently I have a philosophy/ethics midterm and in the last ethics class i was in, well, it did not fare too well- hence, the catalyst (one of three) which led me to drop the course from my schedule a year ago. So, now, it returns. Even though the essay based test will cover Nietzsche and Ruth Benedict, Hobbes and Rouseau, even my cafe con leche brain (plus raisins and soy crackers) is still, just not feeling it...
Today was beautiful, for a Monday in februrary. I'm going to miss this kind of, take off your layers or start sweating, spring.
You know, my dad was in Madrid for 2 days this weekend, it was fantastic. He listened to me ramble on and we philosophized and caught up and just it was teriffic. His motto was- lets do what you usually do around Madrid. So, it was a big walking-exploring weekend, caught alot of great sights in Plaza Mayor (in Sol) but definitely chilled and enjoyed the weekend. I forgot to mention below in previous blog about Dad Weekend, that Lucas (from a neighborhood restaurant/bar) gave Dad and I FREE Blue Shots! Yes- my dad and I drank these blue shots. It was fun. Thanks Lucas. And, of course, Dad. I love you Padre!
I also wanted to saythat I'm aware of how selfish-self absorbed I'm evolving into. In terms of what I can chose/control/decide... i feel freedom but sometimes not, from my conscience. Before you get all imaginative about what things I'm doing- I think it is just that, I'm here in Madrid- trying to live, have meaning, be present, do the school thing (A on history midterm- hope this trend continues)... sitting here, I want to provide you with a concrete something- but, know that I feel selfish-self absorbed
Gratitude/appreciation, patience, kindness, care of/for the beggars/poor on the streets, the handicapped, the apparent desperate woman on the metro pleading 'ayudame porfavor' ...
you know its like, i will do an action, or think something and then later- i'll remember or be reminded and think, did I really do/not do that? Did I really not look at that person and or not give them money or sit with them or ...
Some of you have asked, if I am OK, ...from reading my blogs. And, that question is not new. In fact, from my poetry and word-expressions, people often thought it was (and therefore I was) dark, or some maudlin, or depressed or dreary-dismal person. I want to say a couple of things.
One, yea, I'm well. Two, I think its important to be honest (my poetry has definitly incorporated alot of injustice-oppression). Three, I dont esteem lying to cover up weakness, pain, sorrow, anger, frustration. ...So, in terms of me- yea, thank you for reading, thank you caring. Just because I'm a bloggerin Madrid doesn't mean things are happy-go-lucky. I would not want them to be.
I was recently informed by my roommate that I am "very sensitive. too sensitive" and yea, I took that kinda deep, but after a dear friend invited perspective back for me to imbibe I mean here's the thing:
I am a collection of experiences, people, memories, biology, values, anything, everything, and nothing-
I am learning, falling, following, piecing things together... poco a poco
Sometimes home here is hard, sometimes loving is hard, I forgot what I am capable of, I have to remind myself to open the windows and let perspective blow in and let the day's air refresh these lungs
I haven't been writing like normal, and that effects my disposition. I'm also on a prescription for my acne (YA which totally still is on my face ... guhh), and who knows how that is affecting me -
Long post, right. Well. I'll close: in summary (for the scrollers, I know yoube out derr)... I'm seeking, trying, taking things step by step. I still listen to Nina Simone and Jimi Hendrix, Davis and T. Chapman, classical guitar, Yo Yo Ma, and Bob- and sometimes I go without music to school. Whatever, I try and take opportunities to learn.
I guess now, I should take one of those opps which exists in Philosophy, and (will manifest in exam form tomorrow)...
In hope and confusion
love and laughterå
memory and candlelight
interbeing and presence
ZANMI
At SLU Madrid, I guess taking upper level classes allowed me to dodge the "midterm" nusance, even a comprehensive final or 2 and so forth... to those teachers, thank you!
It's just that I am the kinda person who will offer: let me tell you what is meaningful to me, what I really took away from (yr) the class-
Yea, currently I have a philosophy/ethics midterm and in the last ethics class i was in, well, it did not fare too well- hence, the catalyst (one of three) which led me to drop the course from my schedule a year ago. So, now, it returns. Even though the essay based test will cover Nietzsche and Ruth Benedict, Hobbes and Rouseau, even my cafe con leche brain (plus raisins and soy crackers) is still, just not feeling it...
Today was beautiful, for a Monday in februrary. I'm going to miss this kind of, take off your layers or start sweating, spring.
You know, my dad was in Madrid for 2 days this weekend, it was fantastic. He listened to me ramble on and we philosophized and caught up and just it was teriffic. His motto was- lets do what you usually do around Madrid. So, it was a big walking-exploring weekend, caught alot of great sights in Plaza Mayor (in Sol) but definitely chilled and enjoyed the weekend. I forgot to mention below in previous blog about Dad Weekend, that Lucas (from a neighborhood restaurant/bar) gave Dad and I FREE Blue Shots! Yes- my dad and I drank these blue shots. It was fun. Thanks Lucas. And, of course, Dad. I love you Padre!
I also wanted to saythat I'm aware of how selfish-self absorbed I'm evolving into. In terms of what I can chose/control/decide... i feel freedom but sometimes not, from my conscience. Before you get all imaginative about what things I'm doing- I think it is just that, I'm here in Madrid- trying to live, have meaning, be present, do the school thing (A on history midterm- hope this trend continues)... sitting here, I want to provide you with a concrete something- but, know that I feel selfish-self absorbed
Gratitude/appreciation, patience, kindness, care of/for the beggars/poor on the streets, the handicapped, the apparent desperate woman on the metro pleading 'ayudame porfavor' ...
you know its like, i will do an action, or think something and then later- i'll remember or be reminded and think, did I really do/not do that? Did I really not look at that person and or not give them money or sit with them or ...
Some of you have asked, if I am OK, ...from reading my blogs. And, that question is not new. In fact, from my poetry and word-expressions, people often thought it was (and therefore I was) dark, or some maudlin, or depressed or dreary-dismal person. I want to say a couple of things.
One, yea, I'm well. Two, I think its important to be honest (my poetry has definitly incorporated alot of injustice-oppression). Three, I dont esteem lying to cover up weakness, pain, sorrow, anger, frustration. ...So, in terms of me- yea, thank you for reading, thank you caring. Just because I'm a bloggerin Madrid doesn't mean things are happy-go-lucky. I would not want them to be.
I was recently informed by my roommate that I am "very sensitive. too sensitive" and yea, I took that kinda deep, but after a dear friend invited perspective back for me to imbibe I mean here's the thing:
I am a collection of experiences, people, memories, biology, values, anything, everything, and nothing-
I am learning, falling, following, piecing things together... poco a poco
Sometimes home here is hard, sometimes loving is hard, I forgot what I am capable of, I have to remind myself to open the windows and let perspective blow in and let the day's air refresh these lungs
I haven't been writing like normal, and that effects my disposition. I'm also on a prescription for my acne (YA which totally still is on my face ... guhh), and who knows how that is affecting me -
Long post, right. Well. I'll close: in summary (for the scrollers, I know yoube out derr)... I'm seeking, trying, taking things step by step. I still listen to Nina Simone and Jimi Hendrix, Davis and T. Chapman, classical guitar, Yo Yo Ma, and Bob- and sometimes I go without music to school. Whatever, I try and take opportunities to learn.
I guess now, I should take one of those opps which exists in Philosophy, and (will manifest in exam form tomorrow)...
In hope and confusion
love and laughterå
memory and candlelight
interbeing and presence
ZANMI
Saturday, February 21, 2009
11 dias despues.../11 days later
All i can say: the vicissitudes
ocean waves lapping on the shore of eternity, neither are completely constant
sand, waves, moon, living creatures, stones, foot prints
resound impermanence in yr heart like a shell held to yr ear
I wear the continuum on a hemp necklace and I still do not breathe and engage mindfulness as I need...
I am well, I feel embraced in Madrid because of new friends and sunshine. Dad flew into Madrid this weekend and instead of going through museums and palaces and doing the "tourist" stuff, he said: I just want to do what's important to you.
Awesome. Dad, I love you. So, Saturday afternoon and on we went out for a great pizza lunch, then walked around Madrid until dinner. We enjoyed taking in sights, cruised around in Sol for awhile... talked about chocolate and didn't find what we were looking for... not today at least.
Hopefully will post up pictures tomorrow, or after this upcoming heavy midterms week passes. Oh, I would rather be out! Dancing all night or eating churros! Jaja, no big deal. Poco a poco...
In recent news: I went to a talk held by 2003 Nobel Peace Prize winner, Shirin Ebadi- a lawyer and judge from Iran known for her women's and humans rights work. She has written a memoir (highly recommend), Iran Awakening... and after hearing her speak (Farsi- then, translated into Spanish)- I felt compelled to thank her and see her in person. Above/below the text is a photo of us...
Well, blog break is over now- back to Arabic studies.
Seeking to understand, be real, live simply and honestly
Questioning (most) everything and remembering you-
Zanmi
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
the latest is not the greatest, it just is
Hello from Madrid
where some cronies and i are puzzling out the how to get Rid of the Mad part or parts
or trying to put the Mad parts that have been Rid of back in place...
whatever, im not trying to efface time or seriousness but a little levity and bath bubbles didnt hurt anyone last i knew
The Current Currents:
I had an Enlightenment day Monday. Very bignificant (yes that would be big + significant). and to sum up the pieces i deduced the following:
- drop the art class that was a stressor and time gobbler
- ask around, get books and read them
- breathe, practice breathing and mindfulness (meditations too)
- ask myself what i need, what i want and what am i doing
- come around/realize i will eventually make money (that i seem to be spending too much and too often, even tho compared to some i get the sense im pretty darn frugal)... google frugal, i might come up
- i had not been writing AKA i need to write to be healthy
- i need sunshine
- smiling is important, so is being real-true, but, perspective counts and cracking a smile can be contagious
- Nina Simone, Bob Marley, Dylan... are music marvels, and yes i do try to translate their lyrics into spanish, creole or arabic and mouth them (or sing out loud) and DANCE on the way to school (30 min walk, still, havent found no shortcuts)... and yeah, its a sight, but i feel alright
- haha
- eating raisins and digestiva crackers so my volcanic-vibrato stomach will chill the trill out
- remembering you, carrying you with me, hoping you are well
What else?
- send me love:
RL Gorley c/o Carmen B. Toreno
Calle Manuel Bajo 7
D.P 28015 MADRID, ESPANA
- while my host mom is an excellent chef, i fear she is strict-tight and is reserved and proud to the right, her rules are like bricks and i cant bite thru them with any words or teeth or fly over them with any kite. so w/e this is my short life, in spain, with un poco home strife, but i take it in stride, try and seek the positive and let that override any negativity-hostility, and have flexible attitude abilities and patience, understanding, appreciation, and... again, patience
thanks
toda mi amor
where some cronies and i are puzzling out the how to get Rid of the Mad part or parts
or trying to put the Mad parts that have been Rid of back in place...
whatever, im not trying to efface time or seriousness but a little levity and bath bubbles didnt hurt anyone last i knew
The Current Currents:
I had an Enlightenment day Monday. Very bignificant (yes that would be big + significant). and to sum up the pieces i deduced the following:
- drop the art class that was a stressor and time gobbler
- ask around, get books and read them
- breathe, practice breathing and mindfulness (meditations too)
- ask myself what i need, what i want and what am i doing
- come around/realize i will eventually make money (that i seem to be spending too much and too often, even tho compared to some i get the sense im pretty darn frugal)... google frugal, i might come up
- i had not been writing AKA i need to write to be healthy
- i need sunshine
- smiling is important, so is being real-true, but, perspective counts and cracking a smile can be contagious
- Nina Simone, Bob Marley, Dylan... are music marvels, and yes i do try to translate their lyrics into spanish, creole or arabic and mouth them (or sing out loud) and DANCE on the way to school (30 min walk, still, havent found no shortcuts)... and yeah, its a sight, but i feel alright
- haha
- eating raisins and digestiva crackers so my volcanic-vibrato stomach will chill the trill out
- remembering you, carrying you with me, hoping you are well
What else?
- send me love:
RL Gorley c/o Carmen B. Toreno
Calle Manuel Bajo 7
D.P 28015 MADRID, ESPANA
- while my host mom is an excellent chef, i fear she is strict-tight and is reserved and proud to the right, her rules are like bricks and i cant bite thru them with any words or teeth or fly over them with any kite. so w/e this is my short life, in spain, with un poco home strife, but i take it in stride, try and seek the positive and let that override any negativity-hostility, and have flexible attitude abilities and patience, understanding, appreciation, and... again, patience
thanks
toda mi amor
Friday, February 6, 2009
cold winds spin me, in the beggars tin with his dried tear's salt
Back in Madrid for a week.
Is who I am determined by what I do, eat, think
where I walk, and connections i link
Brief updates:
consumed-addicted to learning Arabic (classical), but still, fascinating and challenging
often remembering you
freezing, literally, still, in Madrid
still drinking cafe con leche
reading: Neruda poetry, a book in Spanish by E. Rico, homework blah blah- trying to suck value from it
feeling cold, un-inspired, like i'm in a consumer-aesthetic driven culture and i want to smash its glass bubble-suffocating state
dreaming of sunshine, warmth, when i will make money and not spend it
thinking i need to stop thinking of money
trying to find positive, but when life moves so fast and cold and
i dont want to whirl with it
nor stand still
how and where do i go
(which translates into)
how do i be
who am i
and
why
(questioning everything stage)
friends and letters are sweet
Is who I am determined by what I do, eat, think
where I walk, and connections i link
Brief updates:
consumed-addicted to learning Arabic (classical), but still, fascinating and challenging
often remembering you
freezing, literally, still, in Madrid
still drinking cafe con leche
reading: Neruda poetry, a book in Spanish by E. Rico, homework blah blah- trying to suck value from it
feeling cold, un-inspired, like i'm in a consumer-aesthetic driven culture and i want to smash its glass bubble-suffocating state
dreaming of sunshine, warmth, when i will make money and not spend it
thinking i need to stop thinking of money
trying to find positive, but when life moves so fast and cold and
i dont want to whirl with it
nor stand still
how and where do i go
(which translates into)
how do i be
who am i
and
why
(questioning everything stage)
friends and letters are sweet
Monday, February 2, 2009
no se poema
what is the glow in your eyes
black gleaming iris
burning coal
burning day into night
cool breaths white out pieces of twilight
to make starlight
into galaxies and
worthy to fill the mysterious thrill
of your unwavering will
to be,
burning and bright
black gleaming iris
burning coal
burning day into night
cool breaths white out pieces of twilight
to make starlight
into galaxies and
worthy to fill the mysterious thrill
of your unwavering will
to be,
burning and bright
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Granada and Back
Well, my best friend for over half my life emailed me Monday to ask/remind me if I was going to meet her in Granada (south of Madrid). Besides traveling to a couple of places (Port-au-Prince or Cap Haitien) Haiti, I've never planned or scheduled trips/hostels/tickets nor looked into things to do... and it the week was about to enter a couple rough spots--
I was skeptical and thinking I couldn't or wouldn't go. But, aha! At last I made a decision TO GO and meet my beloved friend Kaeleigh in a beautiful part of Spain... Granada. Which was amazing.
I took the overnight bus Wed-Thur and got in at 4.30am. Then, I decided to sleep/sit/hang/write/maybe meet some of the people waiting for buses or what looked like homeless and regular-station-sleepers. Well, I did about 2 of the things just mentioned: sit and write. It was cold and I didn't want to get a taxi to the hostel at this time. So I waited the couple of hours until the cafeteria opened (moment of heaven on earth, 8th world wonder for time went by sooo slowly!) and then got refueled w/ cafe con leche- mmm and then decided to walk w/ my pack to the hostel... my calves were sore thursday and friday due to the incredible amount of walking and the incredible heights (arriba la calle) (up the street) but literally UP as in UP steep and long and yeah...
Kaeleigh and I had a fabulous time- two best friends from back in the retainer/elementary/winnie the pooh days to now, and despite going to different schools in mid and high school, well, let me just say it was so rejuvenating to hang-explore-laugh w/ my soul sistah. And she has travelled a ton and subtly/kindly taught me how/what to do-expect when traveling... which was great. Our hostel, Mochi, was great. Met some sweet new friends. Smoked hookah- yess, i bought one for here. But it needs a little tweaking... we both took a ton of pictures. Cobblestone/stone streets everywhere, relaxed good energy folks, shopping (more rebajas-rebates), Arab shops with teas, hookahs, "hippie" clothes, woven backpacks and so forth... incense, it was all very cool. I practiced a little bit of my Arabic. We ate Lebanese for dinner on Friday night but... ehh, we both wouldn't recommend it, it made me miss the Vine and my beloved family-friends there at the market on So. Grand (63103)...!
Beautiful warm, sunshine weather brought smiles. Views and walking through the Alhambra (famous standing Moorish fort-temple with gardens and palace) made "wow" the most said word of the day and just both walking with ineffable-incredulity throughout the day(s)
Saturday was a cool rainy goodbye day... but it was great hanging in Granada, with Kale, figuring out a bit of the travel-how to stuff, seeing another part of Spain, walking a ton, getting over the "i've never traveled before i dont know what im doing", and just BEING AND DOING IT!!
knowing where to go, what metro and then, walking and feeling the feeling of, yeah, i can't wait to get back to el piso-the apartment and just flop on my bed!! hmm. after unpacking all my stuff i got my new sweet jacket and woven-"fanny pack" jaja on and actually ran into this HUGE manifestation called EL PATIO VIVE. with singing and drums- a whole percussion with coordinated rows/lines of bells/drums/shakers different percussion instruments and it was incredible-marrow shaking-hippies and rastas and young and older folks dancing and walking and everyone was just feeling the energy of this organized street celebration!!! RIGHT ON!!
and there were soooooooo many rastas (dreadlocks/people w/ dreadlocks), tons of folks dancing, smoking, drinking, hanging, laughing, taking photos, ....when my roommates joined up w/ me they said "these are your people" and i just kept dancing and swirling around-
it was solid and soo much fun to be part of and to watch
for now, its snowing (an anomaly) in madrid and i have no enthusiasm for homework, we'll see if i can search and find some somewhere...
all my love-
rlgorley
"we bang the drums
we sang the hums
we learn: RAISE YR VOICE
before we burn
burn burn burn up in smoke
we choke on silence
as it divides the fears we hide
through segregation, agression and hate
as they form nations
we exclaim the sensations:
RAISE YR HANDS RAISE YR VOICE
these our the moments, lands and THE CHOICE" short quip-thought from the Vive Patio
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)