and i think

what is there to say to
shoulders too sore to implore
another minute of sitting facing the screen
talking into the microphone ring of
holes somehow
carrying my voice over an ocean
and another receiving clearly
words of wisdom love and mother i miss you too
dad you are the best i could have
and small things too heavy to push alone
that become bigger with
time and distance
that you cannot swallow without breathing first

and it is a long outward sigh
a last farewell hug good bye
sitting on the plane without sunglasses and tear streams like quilt seams
this is not 7th grade xanga this is life when its not a sweet mango
its get up and go
and come home alone and look for another roommate
and set the alarm and lock komputer
and call companion and call Sass and leave messages in milwaukee and sanfran
and remember to call Mel tomorrow and write one hour tomorrow
and register tomorrow and meditate and
remember the strength is inside today and tomorrow
and if i just go to alameda for maffe, he'll meet me at the station
and we can tent and i can feel safe
and i am a woman and female and
wondering will Non Violence and Peace really exude in That moment of Crisis
... i've been told if i think it will happen it will
so i am aware of what has happened on the streets
and i think: awareness and all those things ive said before
and i think: barke sarigne falu (barkay sareen fa-loo) ~ security mantra
and i think: who can i have dinner with tomorrow, i want to call... but they will probably be busy

thinking about physical strength, emotional strength
those terms: peace, justice, respect, calm, trust, honor
"best when put into practice" live it rock it roll it feel it know it sew it grow it

schweya schweya.

and, thank you for believing peace-strength is within me

June Bugs

June bugs don't crawl
I have seen fire flies and thats all

Back in Cincy back in StL
these words mean little at all
if you have not moved all of yr things in a van
or 2 suitcases every 4 months 4 the past going on 4 years

I am not trying to be exclusive I am just trying to get out the words
that like wet clothes in sun are finally
drying
and those drips and drops are what
rise to clouds and pour down again once enough of them and enough heat moistens them to
rain gem drop rain

It could be more science to, im not in meterology you know.

Concrete things:
it is raining on pavement and lighting as if paid to illuminate the sky
i live around and amongst life long peace makers and biking is transporation
unless Jenn Lay comes around in her Green Giant and picks up 1, 3, or up to ... amount of people, that car is the steeple guiding beacon for community to creeple on in.

I'm doing sit ups and biking like I said, 21 a day for how old I am. We'll see how long this lasts. The plan is that when I'm 95 I'll be doing 95 sit ups a day. And the minimum is 21 (this year) and however more I do daily is just, icing on the cake, or something like that.

I'm reading as much as I can: books borrowed, new books from Pius library (finally back and working) (but still looking for more-supplemental work). Hoping to get into an online Psychology class at a local community college. And just be true to myself.
Understand who I am, try and be intentional... and connect. Those words that I value: respect, love, joy, trust, honor, peace- living those out. And not when I feel like it, but in a more sustainable and honest way.

For now, this is it. One addendum: I'm sorry if I forgot or missed your birthday, I have realized I am as good as melted butter in terms of capability to be sturdy-sound mind and not unwind your birthday dates from my brain. Know that I love you and I wish you a Very Happy Birthday.

Write or visit anytime:
R.L. Gorley
4547 Gibson Ave
St. Louis, MO 63103

and post/send any book-music recommendations puh-leez!


love and peace