sunday desk

why am i here ?


to lighten up, to laugh until i cry- i am capaciously grateful for and enamored by my dear housemates, and the dinners that carry the four of us together and too, closer with Carmen (la madre-senora)

its freezing here temp-wise, long walks are good for the lungs, legs, heart and mind, not to mention open hungry eyes chewing-digesting-being nourished and challenged by what i take in

went to excellent jazz music this weekend- mind blowing beautiful
and the Reina Sofia National Art Museum of Spain (for free)... saw Picasso's works incld'g Guernica and Miro and Dali's works...
La Figura en la Ventana (1925, Dali) holds great significance to me because years ago, my dad brought me a ceramic coaster of this painting from a trip to Spain- when my eyes beheld the painting, i was emotionally uplifted and joyously surprised

i remember how precious love is
how intense and distant i can be
my humanness - needs, aches, breaks, hopes, fears, efforts


--

princesa to gran via rebajas puking up everywhere
and into the hands of the women who want image
their empty hands now, vestiges
with "wants" bandaged with bags in hands
dont they understand
this society-culture perpetuates and potentially deprecates
real deep vida
i mean to say to ya
that yr cigarette isnt going to save ya
and a kiss is only bliss
if its you and beauty
some-manifestation homo sapien of love
and perhaps its pressing on need
yr physical sexual greed
why do the hookers on montera blow
like weeds, so easily heed
to the wind of his money grin
is it pain, survival, loss, win
lipstick and hairpin and safety protection
boots up shins
policemen stand like tin
men, when
they are hard too
i dont eschew anyone
i suppose i coo
like a bird in the branch
about la gente y la experiencia as it avalanche
falls
and twirls and does
dance
dance
dance

i blink, to keep to think
to not be in total trance
but to take this chance
to be here
to breathe hope and fear
to love near

atmosphere bequeaths
and all the wreaths
are
dismantled