2/20

when breathing is
like tight rope walking
frightening, even with practice
could it get more intense?
between high rises.
look down if you dare
it's one of those things where
you just have to keep it moving.


6-9:20am
it is happening now
it started when you woke up, showered
spilled coffee on the counter
had to fill an empty gas tank
then, catch more traffic in your mental net
turn that corner and step into work
as tight lipped and tense as a fiend without a fix


9:07am
hmmph.
look at all those young people
tattooed arms, pierced faces
pants falling down
hanging out
wearing flip of a sandal for a foot flop


4:57pm
where is 5 o'clock, computer is off
you walk down the hallway, and push
exit doors to freedom
Ah, the first breath of outdoor air
Relief swings for a minute
and halts as you unlock the car.
A sure standstill
by the time the news streams until you're uncomfortable.
It does not matter, this chaos.
You cannot change anything.

'what cd do i have in here?

hey, what's this guy cutting in front of me?

why can't i just get home?
i'm hungry what is there that's good to eat?
probably, not even leftovers. God.'

5:08pm
Again? look at all those young people
smoking cigarettes,
they look like fags
disgusting, you can't even look at that patio.

Highway, highway
here is the entrance, thank God.
(exasperated sigh)
'Got to see if i can work from home'
get out of this dirty city, traffic and trash
choking the streets between sidewalks.

(phone ringing)
Hello? Yeah, I'm on my way
just got on the--
No, can't you pick up something from the store?
Go out? No, I had that for lunch yesterday.
I don't know, can't you figure it out?
It's work, rush hour,... can't you just think of something?
Ok, bye.

5:30pm
Patience the size of breath
shorter than an ant
smaller than a pepper corn

Exasperated or sucking air
compensate with extremes

But, who's ever lunged between high rises?
Who has ever looked down and not panicked?


Epilogue
(One breath at a time
One step a time
repeat for mindset, for today
and however long you choose.)