2/18

sunshine helps

i’m taking my brain for a walk, without a leash
in the park

i’m threading my heart on the fish hook

i’m taking off my feet and placing them in the closet
and then setting my teeth on the mantle

come to my home if you want to see my toothless grin
how i am in my own hula hoop

not ruled by should but by a content I am...

opening the blinds to let light pour in
buckets and streams of unwired, natural volume

i open my old mouth
and gulp rays in a matter of blinks

neon glow backbone
laughter orbits from here
quiet
only stars burning light pockets
in the sky

let me stuff my dreams
inside all of them
unitl they hang out
the way dollar bills, and
grocery lists do

like dusting the top shelf
it's a reach
but it's not too far
it's safe
not to give to another human heart
the stuff of dreams
packed into pockets
safer by mars than...
you know

reflections

Last night I had a dream I met Bill and Hillary Clinton. Bill had to step out and take a call. Hillary and I talked about power. In the end, on the stairs down out to their/a car, she asked if I had any cigarettes. No, I did not.

Yesterday I did meet Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Lacy Clay.

I walk around in capital city and feel both big and small.
Grounded from the stories and lives, streets of St. Louis where I've "come from"- I don't want to take any easy road out. Anyone can write a letter, can speak-- anyone can be open to learn, to engage in the democratic process. It is all so possible, and I do think the advocacy* effort makes a difference in creating awareness and pushing change, like an orange wheel barrow- farther down the road.

What do I want? I want to be an organizer.

*advocare ‘summon, call to one's aid

uno ahnyo

one day, i
reached out my arms
like to hug an ancient tree trunk
hands far apart
right side of my face pressed
to the gnarly bark

i remember
never wanting to let go
of holding onto something
so deeply rooted*

even when she created a tornado
to sweep her up
to get wrapped up and away

my little heart told my little hands
keep- holding- on

one year later
it is a new day
my hands reach up to the sky
free, grateful
and feeling
sun light freckling my face




*in hindsight, it was me
who wanted her roots to sink deeper
what was there and what wasn't -
well i fooled myself for awhile
until it was too clear too ignore
how easy it is for the shallow to be uprooted-

it just is/2

to dive before the word jump
i can only hope for the best
moving at train speed
a lightning bolt,
a heart pounding colt pace
what's not to love about beginnings
fresh newness
a warm day breaks, springtime
part surprise, part hope saturated anticipation

it just is

heart's in the driver seat, swerving
recklessly indecisive
flying under yellow lights turning red
taking chances, tapping on the fault line
with a round rock in hand
gutsy, stupid, brave
depending on purpose

jumping, ratcheting, striking, racing
moving so fast, blur life

listen to the past
before opening the mouth to say too much too loud too fast too soon
to you

it just is/1

it's a feeling thing.
it's a you know it when you know it
sense it as it enters a room like breezes,
sits in the air like smells
nudges comments out the mouth
or
a look over at the next person and
without a word,
just a "i know" smile
it's a feeling thing

can't, don't, won't
be with someone if there is no
inspiration
no temptation to pass time
by the side of a like-wise creative mind

who are these people with hearts
beating so loudly for their life
to follow their purpose and do "something" right
to fight and prove, to make it with good news
when be-ing hasn't been enough

it's a feeling thing
harmonized voices, pleasing sounds
it just feels right

for so many who do not understand
the unique little pieces
not only the details, but how and which ones
piece them together like a quilt
to wrap around on the cold nights

i cannot explain why
maybe who
but really, it's just a feeling thing.

us/them

they said the sun would shine
they said this would be mine
they said HERE and at THIS time

us/them

and then
we fell asleep under the moon
hoping promises would come soon
they said
they promised

we believed
we cut open our chests
let them take our bloody pulse

they sewed us up
we woke up
to find a missing piece not inside

a valve,
they took what they needed
to tally, divide, percentage-ize
us
too many me's on this side

us/them

we believed
they said the sun would shine
but its night time in winter and

and our words like stars
do not leave bright marks in the sky

only scars on our hearts