you gotta know the strings
tp pull your life together
look down at your feet and see if you need shoes and laces too,
to string em
so you can be strong in your step
which is yours, your own
footprints on cracked n split sidewalks
dont chalk cover it with your open mouth blindness falling out
it wont do nothing but trip you
yeah it takes falling down to learn your strength
some could argue
but why fall down when you can be aware
of the sounds of the street
the faces the people that you meet and be safe secure, and still sweet
dont miss a beat
be true and keep to the shade
in times of heat
too much too little? thats why balance is such a riddle
keep your mind your hands and your pace like a girl's got her base
like a bow's got a fiddle
to faddle and paddle up stream with
keep playing and keep praying
just
know where you are swaying and know protection is not laying
down in front of a car
mar-tyr
if you are,
you might not be for long, to see
the effects if you live positively
open, but wise, aware and unafraid
to ties those shoes
those shoe laces
so you can be keepin up the paces
over all the spaces you place
yourself
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Findings
Sitting in apartment, cleaning room, preparing for school to start. Found the following, wanted to post, nothing to boast 'bout but, here it is-- give me a shout (something you've been styling).
Scraps of Poetry from Madrid
Prepare for rain to
stain yr heart
with fresh cool
natural drool
down the fabrique fringe
from the spool
across seams
until it seems
yr cloth can
hold
no
more
----
i dont believe
words spoken and not
how they tear our ropes into
impregnable knots
rope burns
time yearns
to soothe and heal
skin keps
peeling
mind-brain-gum
realing like
rope thats
tangled from the
heart thats said:
nope
Scraps of Poetry from Madrid
Prepare for rain to
stain yr heart
with fresh cool
natural drool
down the fabrique fringe
from the spool
across seams
until it seems
yr cloth can
hold
no
more
----
i dont believe
words spoken and not
how they tear our ropes into
impregnable knots
rope burns
time yearns
to soothe and heal
skin keps
peeling
mind-brain-gum
realing like
rope thats
tangled from the
heart thats said:
nope
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Book Notes/2
With the left hand, I touch my hair above my ear. I hear the watch on an unchained left wrist. I vow to be responsible for the audacity of truth which respires involuntarily.
Reading a collection of books:
King Leopold's Ghost
In The Hot Zone
Writings For A Democratic Society
(and later, The Looming Tower: Al Qaeda And the Road to 9/11)
Recently finished and recommend:
The White Tiger
My Guantanamo Diary: Stories The Detainees Told Me
Conversations With Saul Alinsky
Quotable quotes:
When I once wrote endlessly about the Vietnamese, I was now witnessing the suffering and struggles of Iraq. It seems like a circle ever enlarging, but returning always to its own beginnings. - Tom Hayden (Writings For... p15)
"When you get here, you'll be told we Indians invented everything from the Internet to hard-boiled eggs to spaceships before the British stole it all from us. Nonsense. The greatest thing to come out of this country in the ten thousand years of its history is the Rooster Coop. Go to Old Delhi, behind the Jama Masjid, and look at the way they keep chickens there in the market. Hundreds of pale hens and brightly covered roosters, stuffed tightly into wire-mesh cages, packed as tightly as worms in a belly, pecking each other and shitting on each other, jostling just for breathing space; the whole cage giving off a horrible stench-- the stench of terrified, feathered flesh. On the wooden desk above the coop sits a grinning young butcher, showing off the flesh and organs of a recently chopped-up chicken, still oleanginous with a coating of dark blood. They see the organs of their brothers lying around them. They know they're next. Yet they do not rebel. They do not try to get out of the coop.
The very same thing is done with human beings in this country." Aravind Adiga (The White Tiger... p148)
So called power institutions get away with a lot because they’re not challenged. You see, power is not just what the status quo has; it is more in what we may think it has. It may have ten soldiers but if we think a thousand soldiers, then for all practical purposes the status quo has a thousand soldiers. Rarely do they have the power we think they have and it’s amazing what happens when you just suddenly stand up and say, “Who do you think you are?” Saul Alinsky (Conversations... p57)
Reading a collection of books:
King Leopold's Ghost
In The Hot Zone
Writings For A Democratic Society
(and later, The Looming Tower: Al Qaeda And the Road to 9/11)
Recently finished and recommend:
The White Tiger
My Guantanamo Diary: Stories The Detainees Told Me
Conversations With Saul Alinsky
Quotable quotes:
When I once wrote endlessly about the Vietnamese, I was now witnessing the suffering and struggles of Iraq. It seems like a circle ever enlarging, but returning always to its own beginnings. - Tom Hayden (Writings For... p15)
"When you get here, you'll be told we Indians invented everything from the Internet to hard-boiled eggs to spaceships before the British stole it all from us. Nonsense. The greatest thing to come out of this country in the ten thousand years of its history is the Rooster Coop. Go to Old Delhi, behind the Jama Masjid, and look at the way they keep chickens there in the market. Hundreds of pale hens and brightly covered roosters, stuffed tightly into wire-mesh cages, packed as tightly as worms in a belly, pecking each other and shitting on each other, jostling just for breathing space; the whole cage giving off a horrible stench-- the stench of terrified, feathered flesh. On the wooden desk above the coop sits a grinning young butcher, showing off the flesh and organs of a recently chopped-up chicken, still oleanginous with a coating of dark blood. They see the organs of their brothers lying around them. They know they're next. Yet they do not rebel. They do not try to get out of the coop.
The very same thing is done with human beings in this country." Aravind Adiga (The White Tiger... p148)
So called power institutions get away with a lot because they’re not challenged. You see, power is not just what the status quo has; it is more in what we may think it has. It may have ten soldiers but if we think a thousand soldiers, then for all practical purposes the status quo has a thousand soldiers. Rarely do they have the power we think they have and it’s amazing what happens when you just suddenly stand up and say, “Who do you think you are?” Saul Alinsky (Conversations... p57)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Ocean (rough draft)
Ocean
i feel it like
i am 12, a growing girl
plunging mouth nostrils eyes lungs
open
into the ocean
vrooshh
pushed back by salty volume
strength tested, it had to be summoned
blinking to make sense and to shake off feelings:
i am surrounded engulfed swallowed
and
surfaced
standing if i am able and
not sinking
just thinking
ocean mighty roll
ancient force i extol
as fellow life, as living
as giving me strength
to: face to face nature
together
a nature that rips flesh
that burns skins and pillages, commits sacrilege
fidgeting into textbook chapters with images
reading typed print had the ability to not phase you more than reading comic strips
whatever the rage, all the news fits on the page,
wherever was deconstructed and whenever reconstructed
and whoever price and families have the dice
roled for them, by hands they do not see
for family life together comes at a high price of resistance to joining military violent assistance
enlist and enact yr right as Man as Soldier as Power as Doer as Fighter as Hero as Proud
over seas to Iraq or Rwanda to cure hate and disease
bring mosquito nets in Boeing planes please
bring monsanto seeds, to plant according to neoliberals' needs
kill the womyn in burqas, suspicious, for praying on beads
the peace corps kids kicked out but not yet shipped out
laying in front of bulldozers
taking photos until shes pulled over
by U.S. backed coup, can you
NAME all the countries the U.S. has smacked, attacked, shut down and chewed up
threw up
land, heart, farmers hand, business stand, locally owned, state operated
los niños plans for school and art and Managua didn't fart in '79 it
passed gas and revolutionary atmosphere overturned oppression at last
until the U.S. said: we must blast this communist regime
Done behind closed doors with tables of water from ravines of..., with hands holding mugs of coffee from bean trees, picked by... Communists ?,
de repente! (now, suddenly) we must make lists of the resisters
oh, but then where would the coffee beans be?
and the coca cola sugar, let's see, we have to do something about this turmoil, commmunist commotion, someone call the media, we'll write on wikipedia and enter the ear canals speedy,
uh- but, i forgot about the but, butts getting bigger off money made from gun triggers
violence, voices muted by masked men who served Silence
I am asking: where is the defiance
the Non Violence
Martin, Mahatma, Mother Teresa, bring a smile, bend the arc to justice please before we look at the sun and sneeze and burn up into dust and float as friable particles
it was written: Rib to Eve and Dust to Dust
but if yr rusty shake yrself off. if your blood your not Dust yet
so tune in to the truth of the uncouth looters who took the the drink from the holy grail and called their avail goal worthy
the Rich Roly Poly and the Holy Moses Moly and bad history and bad theology and corrupt technology
from Nevada parents press a button and a bomb explodes in Iraq,
how would you look at your children picking them up from school, day after bomb after day
back to the secret meetings where the men had greetings with laughter
about vacations, resorts, pools, prices and how their roll of the dices creeped up like vices but it wasnt their family who suffered splices so, onward, forward, Glory to all the Three Hundred, drums talking and hawks bawking in the background
here behind closed door, silence on the floor, notebooks opened with U.S. emblems, In God we trust more and more, nationalism mixed with religion, sure-- just be sure to salt the rim before
imbibing
but really who is deciding?
who really needed to believe in God when thats who they were playing
but with a black magic mystic twist, like economic wizzes they wuz, wizzing a witchy buzz
mixing up tricks and fixing countries
bolting down democracy with capitalism which bought handguns to enforce solutions
shot by School of America's finest Salvadorans, Nicaraguans, on and ons
at this point we forget these hands were small, holding mothers in one bedrooms, clenching fists for food
now nourished by hate to chew on for daily bread ?!
AK 47, slam and solved
ramming structural adjustment programs
NAFTA CAFTA rain down like its natural, seasonal, praise worthy, note worthy for Sachs, Chicago School, Friedman, White man, USD man, just trying to make it man, part time job man
still, ramming structural adjustment programs
into the flesh of the lambs
so when served when sacrificed
they bled true new national colors
man, we all could taste them from
mangoes, cocoes, those coffee beans, more Chiquita bananas please!
structurally adjusted programs: increase debt via interest fees, cancel export fees, add on import fees, and signing documents that: YES, this country will cut all of its trees so the soil will spill when clouds fill with heat and the rain starts to beat
down
down
washing away town town,
peoples lives upside down
sound familiar? think Katrina. think reconstruction. think dysfunction.
its all a round about way of saying: streams of democracy do not always go because there is not always wind rain and heat to blow
people standin in the ocean to show
natural forces fierce as rashes, will destroy with all these clashes,
come together before this sphere smashers, collapses...
So when the winds down and the streams aren't rollin and the trees are holdin the ground down so the community group gathers and dialogues sustainable growth in Bois de Lance, Haiti
the streams of democracy blowing freedom and power to the individual lay to rest and are tested by a force stronger and deeper and longer
of community culture of sharing food, wisdom, heartache and raining down their own changes blowing free the sick oppression out of their lungs
stand, face the force and life rearranges
stop.
have you,
even thought through
the life your living
when you step out the door, lock it up and count the minutes left until.. arrival
you for your own survival
buying into the game
you played because you were raised to perpetuate the haze, money maze, make more USD daze
save it spend it. double it. stay out of trouble with it.
or they'll catch you with it
i still am scratchin my head, they caught Pinochet yet?
they net those 8 Russian oligarches yet?
how about Papa and Baby Doc- the Duvaliers, dead, escaped from debt...
the IMF
the WORLD BANK
cant even imagine how big them think tanks be
where, who knows until it all blows up, but until then.. shut up
world bank, think tank, hows this world spinnin its so rank it stank to high heaven
but we keep gettin leaven bread so we can survive another seven
seven days of another seven hoarding, hateful haze, chaos craze, world spittin up, chewin up, shootin up, beatin down, takin down, dismantling down
Economies
Philosophies
Priorities
Histories
Monopolies
Theologies
Aristocracies
in the name of God we trust Democracy
so, buck up, pick pluck the mop and soak up suck up all the shit thats been mucked up and raped down to raw bare minimum
zero
sum
game
who does the prize fame go to now?
the family whose got no more hope-prosperity, no land no home, all sold, with the union folded
so gone can't even catch a glimpse of the disparity?
mama's nursin, in her brothers house, sleepin in one bedroom, are we proud
enough to sing out national anthem aloud
wrap ourselves in holy shroud or
is it time to Shout
loud enough, far and strong to summon
Buddhist bells
mantras sutras Dharma gongs
a catalyst for Soul songs to the tune of soon freedom marches: injustice walks, crippling stalks, empty belly talks to the mind that unwinds it all to the heart: Act Smart. Do Your Part. Don't be dust, you must Stand for Peace and not fall to your knees.
They are ready and waiting, sipping Coca Cola and Starbucks in the closed door room, making economic movements, some key players have been: Pinochet, Chicago boys, Putin, Bushes, Duvaliers, the proud handshakes
signifying: take the Brakes Off!
Concurrently signaling on: DEREGULATION
$$ FINANCIALIZATION $$
Individual, you matter. you are free! invest in USD
sweat, toil in privately owned soil. (this is)
back breaking 21st century bondage
the market magic as a wand, over time, tick tock, look at stock
as it sits in pits of poverty
people,
going to bed hungry, dropping out of school hungry,
30,000 dying today
excuse me, what?
stop. what about all that US Aid??
the rice, peanut butter, my clothes donated to good will that ended up alongside old VCR players, tvs too
sent to... "3rd world country..." "underdeveloped nations"
because it is mainly poor, generally speaking, "CIA world fact book" wreaking
(do you ask why, how, when, where) - do you dare?
what is yr sense of Africa?
a continent robbed of riches, robbed of resources: gold, silver, diamonds, trees, people,
kingdoms, land, family hopes and plans
pushed into one bedroom, life rearranged, now, like castles in the sand
homes and hopes blown over (in God we trust, His hands?)
i clench my teeth tight and let them go with long breath
looking out on a mighty ancient beast of burden
of power and yearnin for the intensity to receive, to explore
which has evolved: to exploit to extort, rob, judge, lie, condemn and convert
and write the hurt with lies in text books brilliantly through the victors eyes
bloody beast and thanksgiving feast are not painted in the same frame
eh, but some would say it's all a game
like Life
like Monopoly
its ok to topple and force out
like out in St. Louis North City: eminent domain ain't pretty (McKee)
this robbery is rubbery slime stank and rank f you thank its gonna bob a mob of jobs
im thinking
the ocean is winking at me:
snickering slyly- "i didn't tell you so but you figured out domination would grow if you didnt know its force on you, how it would coerce you to your knees
mouth full, red eyes begging please... please
relief
and indeed
by standing you can demand Life again
i feel it like
i am 12, a growing girl
plunging mouth nostrils eyes lungs
open
into the ocean
vrooshh
pushed back by salty volume
strength tested, it had to be summoned
blinking to make sense and to shake off feelings:
i am surrounded engulfed swallowed
and
surfaced
standing if i am able and
not sinking
just thinking
ocean mighty roll
ancient force i extol
as fellow life, as living
as giving me strength
to: face to face nature
together
a nature that rips flesh
that burns skins and pillages, commits sacrilege
fidgeting into textbook chapters with images
reading typed print had the ability to not phase you more than reading comic strips
whatever the rage, all the news fits on the page,
wherever was deconstructed and whenever reconstructed
and whoever price and families have the dice
roled for them, by hands they do not see
for family life together comes at a high price of resistance to joining military violent assistance
enlist and enact yr right as Man as Soldier as Power as Doer as Fighter as Hero as Proud
over seas to Iraq or Rwanda to cure hate and disease
bring mosquito nets in Boeing planes please
bring monsanto seeds, to plant according to neoliberals' needs
kill the womyn in burqas, suspicious, for praying on beads
the peace corps kids kicked out but not yet shipped out
laying in front of bulldozers
taking photos until shes pulled over
by U.S. backed coup, can you
NAME all the countries the U.S. has smacked, attacked, shut down and chewed up
threw up
land, heart, farmers hand, business stand, locally owned, state operated
los niños plans for school and art and Managua didn't fart in '79 it
passed gas and revolutionary atmosphere overturned oppression at last
until the U.S. said: we must blast this communist regime
Done behind closed doors with tables of water from ravines of..., with hands holding mugs of coffee from bean trees, picked by... Communists ?,
de repente! (now, suddenly) we must make lists of the resisters
oh, but then where would the coffee beans be?
and the coca cola sugar, let's see, we have to do something about this turmoil, commmunist commotion, someone call the media, we'll write on wikipedia and enter the ear canals speedy,
uh- but, i forgot about the but, butts getting bigger off money made from gun triggers
violence, voices muted by masked men who served Silence
I am asking: where is the defiance
the Non Violence
Martin, Mahatma, Mother Teresa, bring a smile, bend the arc to justice please before we look at the sun and sneeze and burn up into dust and float as friable particles
it was written: Rib to Eve and Dust to Dust
but if yr rusty shake yrself off. if your blood your not Dust yet
so tune in to the truth of the uncouth looters who took the the drink from the holy grail and called their avail goal worthy
the Rich Roly Poly and the Holy Moses Moly and bad history and bad theology and corrupt technology
from Nevada parents press a button and a bomb explodes in Iraq,
how would you look at your children picking them up from school, day after bomb after day
back to the secret meetings where the men had greetings with laughter
about vacations, resorts, pools, prices and how their roll of the dices creeped up like vices but it wasnt their family who suffered splices so, onward, forward, Glory to all the Three Hundred, drums talking and hawks bawking in the background
here behind closed door, silence on the floor, notebooks opened with U.S. emblems, In God we trust more and more, nationalism mixed with religion, sure-- just be sure to salt the rim before
imbibing
but really who is deciding?
who really needed to believe in God when thats who they were playing
but with a black magic mystic twist, like economic wizzes they wuz, wizzing a witchy buzz
mixing up tricks and fixing countries
bolting down democracy with capitalism which bought handguns to enforce solutions
shot by School of America's finest Salvadorans, Nicaraguans, on and ons
at this point we forget these hands were small, holding mothers in one bedrooms, clenching fists for food
now nourished by hate to chew on for daily bread ?!
AK 47, slam and solved
ramming structural adjustment programs
NAFTA CAFTA rain down like its natural, seasonal, praise worthy, note worthy for Sachs, Chicago School, Friedman, White man, USD man, just trying to make it man, part time job man
still, ramming structural adjustment programs
into the flesh of the lambs
so when served when sacrificed
they bled true new national colors
man, we all could taste them from
mangoes, cocoes, those coffee beans, more Chiquita bananas please!
structurally adjusted programs: increase debt via interest fees, cancel export fees, add on import fees, and signing documents that: YES, this country will cut all of its trees so the soil will spill when clouds fill with heat and the rain starts to beat
down
down
washing away town town,
peoples lives upside down
sound familiar? think Katrina. think reconstruction. think dysfunction.
its all a round about way of saying: streams of democracy do not always go because there is not always wind rain and heat to blow
people standin in the ocean to show
natural forces fierce as rashes, will destroy with all these clashes,
come together before this sphere smashers, collapses...
So when the winds down and the streams aren't rollin and the trees are holdin the ground down so the community group gathers and dialogues sustainable growth in Bois de Lance, Haiti
the streams of democracy blowing freedom and power to the individual lay to rest and are tested by a force stronger and deeper and longer
of community culture of sharing food, wisdom, heartache and raining down their own changes blowing free the sick oppression out of their lungs
stand, face the force and life rearranges
stop.
have you,
even thought through
the life your living
when you step out the door, lock it up and count the minutes left until.. arrival
you for your own survival
buying into the game
you played because you were raised to perpetuate the haze, money maze, make more USD daze
save it spend it. double it. stay out of trouble with it.
or they'll catch you with it
i still am scratchin my head, they caught Pinochet yet?
they net those 8 Russian oligarches yet?
how about Papa and Baby Doc- the Duvaliers, dead, escaped from debt...
the IMF
the WORLD BANK
cant even imagine how big them think tanks be
where, who knows until it all blows up, but until then.. shut up
world bank, think tank, hows this world spinnin its so rank it stank to high heaven
but we keep gettin leaven bread so we can survive another seven
seven days of another seven hoarding, hateful haze, chaos craze, world spittin up, chewin up, shootin up, beatin down, takin down, dismantling down
Economies
Philosophies
Priorities
Histories
Monopolies
Theologies
Aristocracies
in the name of God we trust Democracy
so, buck up, pick pluck the mop and soak up suck up all the shit thats been mucked up and raped down to raw bare minimum
zero
sum
game
who does the prize fame go to now?
the family whose got no more hope-prosperity, no land no home, all sold, with the union folded
so gone can't even catch a glimpse of the disparity?
mama's nursin, in her brothers house, sleepin in one bedroom, are we proud
enough to sing out national anthem aloud
wrap ourselves in holy shroud or
is it time to Shout
loud enough, far and strong to summon
Buddhist bells
mantras sutras Dharma gongs
a catalyst for Soul songs to the tune of soon freedom marches: injustice walks, crippling stalks, empty belly talks to the mind that unwinds it all to the heart: Act Smart. Do Your Part. Don't be dust, you must Stand for Peace and not fall to your knees.
They are ready and waiting, sipping Coca Cola and Starbucks in the closed door room, making economic movements, some key players have been: Pinochet, Chicago boys, Putin, Bushes, Duvaliers, the proud handshakes
signifying: take the Brakes Off!
Concurrently signaling on: DEREGULATION
$$ FINANCIALIZATION $$
Individual, you matter. you are free! invest in USD
sweat, toil in privately owned soil. (this is)
back breaking 21st century bondage
the market magic as a wand, over time, tick tock, look at stock
as it sits in pits of poverty
people,
going to bed hungry, dropping out of school hungry,
30,000 dying today
excuse me, what?
stop. what about all that US Aid??
the rice, peanut butter, my clothes donated to good will that ended up alongside old VCR players, tvs too
sent to... "3rd world country..." "underdeveloped nations"
because it is mainly poor, generally speaking, "CIA world fact book" wreaking
(do you ask why, how, when, where) - do you dare?
what is yr sense of Africa?
a continent robbed of riches, robbed of resources: gold, silver, diamonds, trees, people,
kingdoms, land, family hopes and plans
pushed into one bedroom, life rearranged, now, like castles in the sand
homes and hopes blown over (in God we trust, His hands?)
i clench my teeth tight and let them go with long breath
looking out on a mighty ancient beast of burden
of power and yearnin for the intensity to receive, to explore
which has evolved: to exploit to extort, rob, judge, lie, condemn and convert
and write the hurt with lies in text books brilliantly through the victors eyes
bloody beast and thanksgiving feast are not painted in the same frame
eh, but some would say it's all a game
like Life
like Monopoly
its ok to topple and force out
like out in St. Louis North City: eminent domain ain't pretty (McKee)
this robbery is rubbery slime stank and rank f you thank its gonna bob a mob of jobs
im thinking
the ocean is winking at me:
snickering slyly- "i didn't tell you so but you figured out domination would grow if you didnt know its force on you, how it would coerce you to your knees
mouth full, red eyes begging please... please
relief
and indeed
by standing you can demand Life again
Monday, June 15, 2009
and i think
what is there to say to
shoulders too sore to implore
another minute of sitting facing the screen
talking into the microphone ring of
holes somehow
carrying my voice over an ocean
and another receiving clearly
words of wisdom love and mother i miss you too
dad you are the best i could have
and small things too heavy to push alone
that become bigger with
time and distance
that you cannot swallow without breathing first
and it is a long outward sigh
a last farewell hug good bye
sitting on the plane without sunglasses and tear streams like quilt seams
this is not 7th grade xanga this is life when its not a sweet mango
its get up and go
and come home alone and look for another roommate
and set the alarm and lock komputer
and call companion and call Sass and leave messages in milwaukee and sanfran
and remember to call Mel tomorrow and write one hour tomorrow
and register tomorrow and meditate and
remember the strength is inside today and tomorrow
and if i just go to alameda for maffe, he'll meet me at the station
and we can tent and i can feel safe
and i am a woman and female and
wondering will Non Violence and Peace really exude in That moment of Crisis
... i've been told if i think it will happen it will
so i am aware of what has happened on the streets
and i think: awareness and all those things ive said before
and i think: barke sarigne falu (barkay sareen fa-loo) ~ security mantra
and i think: who can i have dinner with tomorrow, i want to call... but they will probably be busy
thinking about physical strength, emotional strength
those terms: peace, justice, respect, calm, trust, honor
"best when put into practice" live it rock it roll it feel it know it sew it grow it
schweya schweya.
and, thank you for believing peace-strength is within me
shoulders too sore to implore
another minute of sitting facing the screen
talking into the microphone ring of
holes somehow
carrying my voice over an ocean
and another receiving clearly
words of wisdom love and mother i miss you too
dad you are the best i could have
and small things too heavy to push alone
that become bigger with
time and distance
that you cannot swallow without breathing first
and it is a long outward sigh
a last farewell hug good bye
sitting on the plane without sunglasses and tear streams like quilt seams
this is not 7th grade xanga this is life when its not a sweet mango
its get up and go
and come home alone and look for another roommate
and set the alarm and lock komputer
and call companion and call Sass and leave messages in milwaukee and sanfran
and remember to call Mel tomorrow and write one hour tomorrow
and register tomorrow and meditate and
remember the strength is inside today and tomorrow
and if i just go to alameda for maffe, he'll meet me at the station
and we can tent and i can feel safe
and i am a woman and female and
wondering will Non Violence and Peace really exude in That moment of Crisis
... i've been told if i think it will happen it will
so i am aware of what has happened on the streets
and i think: awareness and all those things ive said before
and i think: barke sarigne falu (barkay sareen fa-loo) ~ security mantra
and i think: who can i have dinner with tomorrow, i want to call... but they will probably be busy
thinking about physical strength, emotional strength
those terms: peace, justice, respect, calm, trust, honor
"best when put into practice" live it rock it roll it feel it know it sew it grow it
schweya schweya.
and, thank you for believing peace-strength is within me
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June Bugs
June bugs don't crawl
I have seen fire flies and thats all
Back in Cincy back in StL
these words mean little at all
if you have not moved all of yr things in a van
or 2 suitcases every 4 months 4 the past going on 4 years
I am not trying to be exclusive I am just trying to get out the words
that like wet clothes in sun are finally
drying
and those drips and drops are what
rise to clouds and pour down again once enough of them and enough heat moistens them to
rain gem drop rain
It could be more science to, im not in meterology you know.
Concrete things:
it is raining on pavement and lighting as if paid to illuminate the sky
i live around and amongst life long peace makers and biking is transporation
unless Jenn Lay comes around in her Green Giant and picks up 1, 3, or up to ... amount of people, that car is the steeple guiding beacon for community to creeple on in.
I'm doing sit ups and biking like I said, 21 a day for how old I am. We'll see how long this lasts. The plan is that when I'm 95 I'll be doing 95 sit ups a day. And the minimum is 21 (this year) and however more I do daily is just, icing on the cake, or something like that.
I'm reading as much as I can: books borrowed, new books from Pius library (finally back and working) (but still looking for more-supplemental work). Hoping to get into an online Psychology class at a local community college. And just be true to myself.
Understand who I am, try and be intentional... and connect. Those words that I value: respect, love, joy, trust, honor, peace- living those out. And not when I feel like it, but in a more sustainable and honest way.
For now, this is it. One addendum: I'm sorry if I forgot or missed your birthday, I have realized I am as good as melted butter in terms of capability to be sturdy-sound mind and not unwind your birthday dates from my brain. Know that I love you and I wish you a Very Happy Birthday.
Write or visit anytime:
R.L. Gorley
4547 Gibson Ave
St. Louis, MO 63103
and post/send any book-music recommendations puh-leez!
love and peace
I have seen fire flies and thats all
Back in Cincy back in StL
these words mean little at all
if you have not moved all of yr things in a van
or 2 suitcases every 4 months 4 the past going on 4 years
I am not trying to be exclusive I am just trying to get out the words
that like wet clothes in sun are finally
drying
and those drips and drops are what
rise to clouds and pour down again once enough of them and enough heat moistens them to
rain gem drop rain
It could be more science to, im not in meterology you know.
Concrete things:
it is raining on pavement and lighting as if paid to illuminate the sky
i live around and amongst life long peace makers and biking is transporation
unless Jenn Lay comes around in her Green Giant and picks up 1, 3, or up to ... amount of people, that car is the steeple guiding beacon for community to creeple on in.
I'm doing sit ups and biking like I said, 21 a day for how old I am. We'll see how long this lasts. The plan is that when I'm 95 I'll be doing 95 sit ups a day. And the minimum is 21 (this year) and however more I do daily is just, icing on the cake, or something like that.
I'm reading as much as I can: books borrowed, new books from Pius library (finally back and working) (but still looking for more-supplemental work). Hoping to get into an online Psychology class at a local community college. And just be true to myself.
Understand who I am, try and be intentional... and connect. Those words that I value: respect, love, joy, trust, honor, peace- living those out. And not when I feel like it, but in a more sustainable and honest way.
For now, this is it. One addendum: I'm sorry if I forgot or missed your birthday, I have realized I am as good as melted butter in terms of capability to be sturdy-sound mind and not unwind your birthday dates from my brain. Know that I love you and I wish you a Very Happy Birthday.
Write or visit anytime:
R.L. Gorley
4547 Gibson Ave
St. Louis, MO 63103
and post/send any book-music recommendations puh-leez!
love and peace
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My Oh May
It is possible to feel isolation and alienation no matter what country, what year and what piece of technology one can access.
One could say I "should" write. Update this blog. There is something deeper about curiosity and interest and friendship that implores me, are my selected snip-its enough?
This whole time in Madrid I have felt insanely selfish. With time, money, with most all choices. It's taken a step back to a bit of immaturity to realize what maturity means. I'm not referring to drinking, smoking or habits that imply substance use-abuse, not at all. I'm talking about my personality, my character, my perspective, my abilities, capabilities....
One thing I can say for certain: reach out with love
This is not intended to be some big, idealistic message infused with faith nor great expectation. It's just to say, I learn from experience. And when people have reached out to me with love, and when I've reached out with love (absorbed in humility, generosity- those moments have been more memorable).
Love is free. Or, it ought to be.
I want to write more. But I can't. I may not have traveled as much as I had thought. But I have hope that my life will be long and I will be able to travel with close friends and family when the time is right. Please don't ask me How was Paris, because I will not be able to tell you.
I'm sorting out my time here, in a this is ending-I am pensive about this sort of way. I look forward to being able to access any/all books I want. To hugging my mom and dad and brother.
To... walking into the Vine on South grand for the first time in what seems like forever and smiling until I cry from all the joy.
To... moving into a new apartment in the west side and being with the sisters and brothers of the st louis community-
To... biking, walking-jogging more (again), buying locally and fresh (as often as possible)
to having my old school cell phone back with all those damn contacts
Of course, there are a special few whom I will miss with a heart that must be capacious. Yea, I get sentimental here, on a Thursday night, in my room alone. It is weird thought because I am who I am yet, in some ways I know I have Woken Up here. matured, yes. But also, I am very aware of how certain strong colors and pieces of my life I have kept more quiet... I wonder why. Change of setting, environment, responding as best I can...
Jesus Buddha Moses Allah, then I wonder when people will START and STOP asking me what am I Doing with my life. FTS. If you know what that means, fine. If not, forget about it. Seriously. I just can tell you know: I don't know. The world is OPEN OPEN OPEN. And I am a dreamer. And will always have vision, because of my beloved sister friend, Gabrielle in Cap, Haitian.
I will go to Granada as a WWOOFer volunteer on a Sustainable, Organic farm until May 30, when I will (spirits willing) return safely to Madrid and fly to the U.S. and arrive in one piece and AOK in Cincinnati (KY) haha, yes the CVG airport is not in Ohio.
This summer I will live and work in St. Louis, MO. It's going to be a thrill.
Oh yes, and to those who have sent something to me, letters, cookies, cards anything everything something- you are very special, and I especially wish to thank you here.
With love and respect,
ZANMI
One could say I "should" write. Update this blog. There is something deeper about curiosity and interest and friendship that implores me, are my selected snip-its enough?
This whole time in Madrid I have felt insanely selfish. With time, money, with most all choices. It's taken a step back to a bit of immaturity to realize what maturity means. I'm not referring to drinking, smoking or habits that imply substance use-abuse, not at all. I'm talking about my personality, my character, my perspective, my abilities, capabilities....
One thing I can say for certain: reach out with love
This is not intended to be some big, idealistic message infused with faith nor great expectation. It's just to say, I learn from experience. And when people have reached out to me with love, and when I've reached out with love (absorbed in humility, generosity- those moments have been more memorable).
Love is free. Or, it ought to be.
I want to write more. But I can't. I may not have traveled as much as I had thought. But I have hope that my life will be long and I will be able to travel with close friends and family when the time is right. Please don't ask me How was Paris, because I will not be able to tell you.
I'm sorting out my time here, in a this is ending-I am pensive about this sort of way. I look forward to being able to access any/all books I want. To hugging my mom and dad and brother.
To... walking into the Vine on South grand for the first time in what seems like forever and smiling until I cry from all the joy.
To... moving into a new apartment in the west side and being with the sisters and brothers of the st louis community-
To... biking, walking-jogging more (again), buying locally and fresh (as often as possible)
to having my old school cell phone back with all those damn contacts
Of course, there are a special few whom I will miss with a heart that must be capacious. Yea, I get sentimental here, on a Thursday night, in my room alone. It is weird thought because I am who I am yet, in some ways I know I have Woken Up here. matured, yes. But also, I am very aware of how certain strong colors and pieces of my life I have kept more quiet... I wonder why. Change of setting, environment, responding as best I can...
Jesus Buddha Moses Allah, then I wonder when people will START and STOP asking me what am I Doing with my life. FTS. If you know what that means, fine. If not, forget about it. Seriously. I just can tell you know: I don't know. The world is OPEN OPEN OPEN. And I am a dreamer. And will always have vision, because of my beloved sister friend, Gabrielle in Cap, Haitian.
I will go to Granada as a WWOOFer volunteer on a Sustainable, Organic farm until May 30, when I will (spirits willing) return safely to Madrid and fly to the U.S. and arrive in one piece and AOK in Cincinnati (KY) haha, yes the CVG airport is not in Ohio.
This summer I will live and work in St. Louis, MO. It's going to be a thrill.
Oh yes, and to those who have sent something to me, letters, cookies, cards anything everything something- you are very special, and I especially wish to thank you here.
With love and respect,
ZANMI
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